a guy at school today was wearing this damn fine red nail polish and I heard these two girls whispering angrily and looking in his direction so I listened in expecting them to be weird about it and the first thing I hear is “how the HELL did he get it so good did he get it professionally done or something you need to ask him where he found that colour jesus fucking christ are you KIDDING me”
I think this is a good example of how the world should work.
My dog York won’t do it for the vine by Wellington Boyce
YOU’RE IN AUSTRALIA
OF COURSE SPIDERS SHOULD BE FEARED
I got bitten by a white-tailed spider when i was seven. There is basically ‘no cure’ for the bite which often gets infected because of bacteria on the spiders fangs. It pretty much eats away at the flesh and its horrible. Thankfully my grandma is a seasoned aussie and put some potion she made on it and it got better. I still to this day have scar about the size of a 5 cent coin on my thigh and when you touch it there’s basically a hole in my leg from where it ate away at my flesh.
moral of the story STAY AWAY FROM AUSTRALIA. IT IS DANGEROUS AND YOU WONT SURVIVE.
I had a dream last night that Jesus finally resurrected and when white people found out he wasn’t white they arrested him for 2000 something years of tax invasion
JESUS DUMBLEDORE FUCKING CHRIST
do u ever watch movies or shows where they have a flashback to a main character’s childhood and it’s so god damn well cast that you think for a second that they built a time machine and filmed the same actor when they were a little kid
WHAT THE FUCK
i had a dream where tornadoes were made illegal or something i just remember like a dozen police cars driving directly toward a tornado with their sirens on and all getting sucked into the tornado
"i’m not bitter" i say, bitterly, with a bitter expression
the big titty committee be like
lacy underwear makes me feel powerful and unstoppable
THIS IS MY FAVORITE PICTURE EVER